I’m very excited that my first online programme, Return to Work with Confidence which I’ve developed with my fabulous partner, Donna Hubbard, founder of Be Dynamic Coaching is now available to buy!

Who is this course for?

If you’re a mum due to go back to work after maternity leave, if you’re thinking about returning to the world of work after an extended career break to have a family or if you’ve gone back within the past year, this programme will help you reconnect with your professional self and recognise the skills and value you bring to the workplace as a parent.

How long will it take?

• Six modules delivered over six weeks.
• 30-45 minutes of video for each module, so it won’t require much time to complete.
• You’ll be guided through simple exercises in each video to help you regain your personal and professional confidence.
• Each module will be packed with useful tools and easy tricks that can easily be incorporated into your busy life.

In this course you’ll find out how to:

• Understand and embrace the magnitude of your identity shift, and how being a mother positively influences your career.
• Use one simple tool to transform the guilt and loosen the grip it has over you.
• Build the best relationship with yourself you’ve ever had.
• Let go of the ‘ideal’ impressed upon us by society and learn hacks to creating your own ideal.
• Manage the negative chatter and transform the way you see your inner critic so it becomes your ally.
• Reconnect with your professional self and resume your career feeling unstoppable.
• Cultivate a strong personal brand that’s aligned perfectly with your strengths and values
• Leverage the power of authenticity.
• Take control of your return and ask for everything you need.
• Create a bullet-proof return plan that will mean you can respond to unforeseen challenges with ease.
• Develop a solutions-focused mind-set so you can deal with anything, even the uncontrollable.
• Cope with overwhelm and use it to enhance your emotional wellbeing.
• Handle complex but essential conversations with employers, colleagues and family.
• Set up the best childcare arrangements for your family and deal with separation anxiety so you and your children can adapt to your new working pattern with ease.
• Process and accept the inevitable knocks and bounce back with confidence.

Click here to buy now and get started straight away!

What you’re actually buying into is a supportive and caring environment, designed to make you feel as comfortable as possible while you’re going through the modules. You’re not alone in feeling apprehensive about this period of transition, change and uncertainty and we’re here to provide emotional support and offer tangible ways for you to reclaim control over your personal and professional confidence.

Presented by Ursula Tavender, founder of Mumbelievable and Donna Hubbard, founder of Be Dynamic this course will empower you to cultivate a sense of confidence and inner strength so you can become happier and more successful.

It will give you the opportunity to reflect on how you’ve changed for the better as a woman since becoming a mother and offers simple but effective tools to powerfully change your mind-set that you can use for the rest of your life.

You’ll also be invited to join the Facebook group that goes with this course, for extra support and solidarity.

For the first 250 people, this course is just £29 and we’ll throw in the audio files so you can listen on the go.

For less than £5 a week for those six weeks, you’ll get access to this revolutionary course that will change the way you feel about yourself forever.

Click here to buy now and get started straight away!

What will be covered?

Here’s an overview of the programme:

Module one: Redefining the ideal

We’ll explore the impact that popular culture and media have on our sense of self as women and as mothers, and how they construct a narrative around what we perceive to be the ‘ideal’. We’ll offer advice and tools to help you challenge negative messaging and equip yourself to respond appropriately, empowering you to create your own vision of what your ‘ideal’ looks like and take steps towards it.

Module two: The identity shift

The goal of this module is to support you to develop an empowered mindset. Here we’ll look at the magnitude of the identity shift that happens when a professional woman becomes a mother, and invite you to explore how you see yourself now compared with before you had children. We’ll also work to understand our inner critic and its effect on our psyche, as well as the role that loneliness and fear of judgment play in our overall self-perception.

Module three: Personal branding

The main objective of this module is to empower you to take control of the impact you make upon your return to work, consciously choosing your behaviours and attitudes. This video will kick off with an individual exercise in which you will identify your skills, attributes and achievements – both professional and personal. This can trigger a powerful shift in the way we perceive ourselves and our personal impact, and can enable us to see how we can move towards becoming the version of ourselves we aspire to be.

Module four: In charge of your return

In this module you’ll learn ways in which you can become proactive about taking control of your return by devising a return-to-work strategy. Our aim in this module is to help you identify what you need to enable you to return feeling calm and confident, knowing that you can overcome guilt and handle any situation that comes your way.

Module five: Calm, in control and ready

In this module we’ll support you in creating a routine for each day that will work for your family. We’ll also explore ways to support colleagues in understanding the realities of what it means to balance the demands of work and family. You’ll also learn how to respond in a positive, confident way when stressful situations crop up.

Module six: Settling back into the world of work

In this final module we’ll look at ways to ensure your confidence and self-development continue to flourish after this programme is finished. We’ll support you with ways to develop assertive behaviours, manage time effectively and cope with the inevitable feelings of guilt and overwhelm. Finally, we’ll invite you to look at how you feel now compared with how you felt when you began this programme, and work out what you need to built on your sense of self from this point onwards.

There are just 250 spots available for this offer, so buy now to secure yours!

This week it’s an absolute pleasure to interview the fabulous Becs Steele, founder of B Well Nutrition. She’s a woman on a mission to help mums increase energy and feel their best.

Having suffered years of digestive issues, hormone imbalance, weight fluctuation and the emotional journey of baby loss, IVF, pregnancy and birth Becs retrained as a nutritional consultant and coach so she could not only increase her own energy and overcome her health and body issues but dedicate her career to helping others do the same. I love her words and wisdom about trusting life as it unfolds. Enjoy!

Hi, I’m Becs. I fundamentally changed through the process of becoming a mother, the journey I’d been through to get there and the toll it had taken on my body. I wasn’t listening to my body and what it needed and I became ill, which inspired me to retrain as a Nutritional Therapist as I knew there was so much that could be done through, food, lifestyle and nurturing oneself to help you feel better.

My husband carries a genetic condition; we’re lucky to have a daughter naturally who does not carry the gene but unfortunately we have lost a lot of babies and had failed IVF. This has made me more passionate about helping other mums and women, as I can empathise with the emotional ups and downs that all of this this brings.

My mission with B Well is to help Mums with young kids to reclaim and regain their body confidence and feel fabulous again. I can empathise with the struggles of feeling good when your body is against you, and feeling grumpy and tired which can make you snappy with the people you love most. We all deserve to be the best version of ourselves and I offer a free health and energy consultation for mums wanting to feel better, have more energy to cope with the demands of motherhood. I also have a free private Facebook group which mums can join for lots of information, advice and support to help them on the road to feeling their best.

Who are you? What makes you, you?

I have realised I am someone with a lot of resilience. I love developing as a person, changing the boundaries & goal posts of what is possible. I think we have so much untapped potential & I am still on journey to discovering that in myself.

If someone else was to sum you up in five words, what do you think those words would be?

Caring, sociable, loyal, resourceful and fun.

Who are the three most important people in your life, and why?

My husband, my daughter and…it’s so difficult to choose three! Family and friends too.

What are the three most important things in your life and why?

Eating to feel good and exercising to feel good. I know that these things nourish me and give me the energy and resources to carry on, to get through the tougher times and feel well in myself. Having adventures, mini or big, expanding and living life to the fullest.

What does confidence mean to you?

Being the best version of yourself that you can be and breaking through the fear to develop and evolve as a person.

How do you feel about yourself now compared to before you became a mum?

I know myself better, I feel more in tune to me, to others and don’t feel the need for approval all the time.  But there has been a lot of guilt, confusion & overwhelm along the way.

What advice would you give to someone who doubts herself?

I think don’t judge yourself for doubting yourself, everyone doubts themselves but you don’t have to listen to those doubts and just keep moving on. Turn down the volume on the voice that doubts.

What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?

You have to make things happen but not by applying pressure, by trusting that life unfolds the way it does. The harder things in life often have a lesson in there to make you stronger and develop. In a nutshell, life is uncontrollable but move with the tides and things expand.

And finally, where is your happy place?

Where I live we have a beautiful meadow that changes with the weather, the seasons. When I walk on the meadow, I feel at one with nature and it makes me feel alive!

You can join Becs’ brilliant and supportive private Facebook group, B Well & B Fabulous for free here.

I still feel sick now.

A couple of hours have passed since the door shut at the pre-school, with me on one side and my son on the other. As a metaphor that’s the most unnatural situation I can think of right now.

I have a child who suffers separation anxiety. In his words, he likes it when we’re “all together”. Now he has such an extensive vocabulary and chooses to verbalise – in pain-inducing detail – how me leaving him makes him feel sad and how much he misses me, my guilt at leaving him to work is greater than ever.

The most recent question, always posed at the very moment I’m biting my lip and braced for it as I’m about to leave, has become: “But mummy…do you love me?”

The thought that at three, my son could contemplate that I leave him because I don’t love him enough to stay is too much for me to bear. Fleetingly, I consider jacking everything in to be with him full-time until he goes to school.

It would be selfish of me to say what I actually want to say to him (or, rather, scream in his gorgeous little face), that “EVERYTHING, EVERY SINGLE THING I DO IN EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY IS BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!” But instead I swallow my tears and the lump that’s making it so hard to breathe right now and I suggest I could stay for a few minutes to paint a picture of a tree. (A luxury I’m aware is only afforded to me because I work for myself and don’t answer to an employer; something that occurs to me every time I’m able to make that decision to stay for those precious few minutes of reassurance.)

Separation anxiety is natural. As a species we’re not built to be away from our babies. We’ve evolved, according to the British attachment theorist, John Bowlby to stay close to our primary caregiver to improve our chances of survival. We build a strong relationship of trust and security with and for our children, so it stands to reason that they’re going to be less than happy about us moving the goalposts and expecting them to accept that for an amount of time they have no reasonable way to quantify, we’re going to be on opposite sides of the door.

It hadn’t occurred to me until long after Xav had been born that our culture is so at odds with nature.

I’d never expected that still, when he’s been with consistent, loving and brilliant childcare providers (first a childminder and then the preschool) since he was eight months old, we would have to endure these mornings of heartbreak and that pit-of-the-stomach feeling.

Developing better emotional resilience is crucial if we are to recover quickly and respond positively to situations like this one, which have the potential to steer our days down a dark path.

Here’s what I do to reframe the guilt I feel and recover from knocks to my confidence, like this morning.

I reassure myself that we’ve chosen a fantastic preschool environment for him, and that he has literally flourished in his time there. I remind myself of the value of the company of his peers and that I am giving him the opportunity to learn how to build relationships, to play and to learn about the world.

I think of the strength of the bond we have and use that to show myself that his sadness at our separation is a positive sign that I’m on the right track with our relationship. I know that I make the time when I’m not working and we’re together count. I reassure myself that because I work I am a better mother, partner and woman and that I’m grafting to effect serious change among mums which is worthwhile and fulfilling – not to mention becoming a healthy role model for my son.

Getting a grip on the guilt is one thing, but it’s not possible to reason our way out of an emotional situation.

And no amount of reason can change that I want to bawl my eyes out.

But, as is the case for us all, I have a LOT that needs to be done.

As mothers (and fathers – this isn’t just about us) we deal with these fallouts in their various guises a hundred times a day. Which is why it’s simply not possible for us to leave our personal lives at the door when we step into the working environment.

If I’m honest, that list I’m staring at will not only offer very welcome distraction but opportunity, excitement, fun and reward. I want to get stuck into that list. I choose to see it that the list is going to save me today.

What do you do to manage how you feel about your child’s separation anxiety? I’d love to hear how you re-frame the guilt and empower yourself in situations like these. X

If you’re a mum who is thinking of going back to work or you’e already returned, then this is for you!

This is the announcement we’ve been waiting to make……

In celebration of International Women’s Day, Donna and I have a very special launch offer for the first 250 people who sign up to buy our brand new online programme, Return to Work with Confidence.

We’re putting the finishing touches to it now and it will be available to buy within the next week or so. It’s a six-week online course to empower you to go back to work feeling calm, confident and motivated after time out to have children.

If you’ve got children and you’re not working at the moment or you’ve gone back within the past year, this will be transformational for you.

The first 250 people who send us a message here:https://m.me/mumbelievable to claim their spot will be able to buy the entire six-week programme for just £29 (it will usually be £39 – we’ve done our utmost to make it as affordable as possible so that everyone who wants to can take advantage of it)

AND

As a gift from us to thank you for supporting our mission to help a million women feel amazing, confident and strong, you’ll also receive ALL SIX modules as audio files so you can listen on the go without having to sit down and watch the videos.

So if you’re thinking you won’t be able to find the time or the money to get hold of this thing….you will.

There are just 250 spots available for this offer, so if you want one, click here to send us a message:https://m.me/mumbelievable. No payment now, just a message to lock in your place to buy when the cart opens.

You deserve to feel like the incredible woman you are, at home and at work.

For just £29, this will help you get there.

We can’t wait. Send us a message now: https://m.me/mumbelievable

Ursula and Donna X

EDIT: A few people have been in touch to ask for an overview of the programme. Here it is!

Module one: Redefining the ideal

We’ll explore the impact that popular culture and media have on our sense of self as women and as mothers, and how they construct a narrative around what we perceive to be the ‘ideal’. We’ll offer advice and tools to help you challenge negative messaging and equip yourself to respond appropriately, empowering you to create your own vision of what your ‘ideal’ looks like and take steps towards it.

Module two: The identity shift

The goal of this module is to support you to develop an empowered mindset. Here we’ll look at the magnitude of the identity shift that happens when a professional woman becomes a mother, and invite you to explore how you see yourself now compared with before you had children. We’ll also work to understand our inner critic and its effect on our psyche, as well as the role that loneliness and fear of judgment play in our overall self-perception.

Module three: Personal branding

The main objective of this module is to empower you to take control of the impact you make upon your return to work, consciously choosing your behaviours and attitudes. This video will kick off with an individual exercise in which you will identify your skills, attributes and achievements – both professional and personal. This can trigger a powerful shift in the way we perceive ourselves and our personal impact, and can enable us to see how we can move towards becoming the version of ourselves we aspire to be.

Module four: In charge of your return

In this module you’ll learn ways in which you can become proactive about taking control of your return by devising a return-to-work strategy. Our aim in this module is to help you identify what you need to enable you to return feeling calm and confident, knowing that you can overcome guilt and handle any situation that comes your way.

Module five: Calm, in control and ready

In this module we’ll support you in creating a routine for each day that will work for your family. We’ll also explore ways to support colleagues in understanding the realities of what it means to balance the demands of work and family. You’ll also learn how to respond in a positive, confident way when stressful situations crop up.

Module six: Settling back into the world of work

In this final module we’ll look at ways to ensure your confidence and self-development continue to flourish after this programme is finished. We’ll support you with ways to develop assertive behaviours, manage time effectively and cope with the inevitable feelings of guilt and overwhelm. Finally, we’ll invite you to look at how you feel now compared with how you felt when you began this programme, and work out what you need to built on your sense of self from this point onwards.

There are just 250 spots available for this offer, so if you want one, click here to send us a message:https://m.me/mumbelievable. No payment now, just a message to lock in your place to buy when the cart opens.

Welcome back to The Mumbelievables! The series (and the blog in general!) took a bit of an unplanned and unexpected break for a few weeks while I whined about being a bit poorly, but it’s system resume now and I’m over the moon to feature the very beautiful and inspirational Ursula Brunetti this week.

Ursula and I met last year and instantly had our unusual name in common. I am a HUGE fan of what she’s doing with her brilliant gift venture, Mumdays and we share many of the same goals: to help mums see how incredible they are and to make them feel special. If you’re looking for a mother’s day gift for a special mum in your life, you need to check out Mumdays!

I’m Ursula and I’m mum to Louis and Lenea and founder of Mumdays. I set up the business to give mums the opportunity to be gifted something that they actually will want and appreciate – time off and TLC – two things I found myself and my friends craving in our lives as mothers. Motherhood is all about caring for and nurturing others and it’s a beautiful privilege but let’s not pretend it’s exhausting, lonely and challenging too.

My journey to motherhood has been an interesting one so far, I nearly died during childbirth and was very lucky to survive my PPH without losing my womb. It was a shocking beginning and something that has made me see motherhood through a certain lens. That I’m lucky to be alive and should make the most of every day with my children. I’ve been forever grateful that my twins were born well and healthy and that I’ve been blessed to be a mum. It’s a huge life change though and that transition can be a very steep learning curve at times. Having some time for you is vital to be able to recharge and approach motherhood with the energy and determination it requires. I really want to make mums feel special with mumdays and that is a huge motivator for me. There are so many incredible mums out there  – just look at all the women on Mumbelievable – there are so many inspiring stories from other mums that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that they all deserve to realise just how special they are.

Which is where I like to think my business comes in handy with experience gifts that give back that sanctuary – be it an at home massage or manicure or simply having someone take care of your cleaning and laundry, it all helps free your time.

Who are you? What makes you, you?

I think we’re always changing as we go through life so this question is hard to give a definitive answer to. A few things that never change are the fact I love chocolate, am a bit of romantic, I get a buzz from writing which I absolutely love doing, whether it’s creative writing, articles, blog posts or simply my diary and I always feel better after a walk by the sea.

If someone else was to sum you up in five words, what do you think those words would be?

That girl sure loves pink.

Who are the three most important people in your life, and why?

The most important people in my life are my family. Of course my children come top of the list! I would be lost without my family – they are the ones who understand me the most and always know how to make me laugh!

What are the three most important things in your life and why?

Health, nature and happiness are the three things which I think are the most important in life, but I think chocolate comes a close fourth! Honestly though, I think even when we feel low we have so much to be grateful for and happy about.

What does confidence mean to you?

Confidence for me is about owning your decisions and knowing that you have the power to make what you want out of life. It may sound cheesy but I do think you can become the change you want to see in the world.

How do you feel about yourself now compared to before you became a mum?

Now I’m a mum I feel so much more mortal. Not in a morbid way but I feel like life and its transient nature are so much more poignant and that in turn has made me feel more grateful, more passionate and more aware that every day counts. Before motherhood I felt less anchored and now I feel empowered by motherhood and trying to be the woman I want to be to inspire my children.

What advice would you give to someone who doubts herself?

We all have a negative running commentary inside but try not to listen. Instead list all the things you have done and do well and you’ll soon see you’re capable of much more than you give yourself credit for. We’ve all got imposter syndrome and you can be sure that no one is as critical of you as you are! So take comfort from that and realise that the rest of the world thinks you’re amazing, just the way you are (to quote Bridget Jones!)

What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?

That I was never really tired before I had children! Haha!

And finally, where is your happy place?

I’m always happy when my children are happy! And always when heading to the Isle of Wight to see my family and walking down Ryde pier, watching the town lights dance on the sea.

You can follow Ursula and Mumdays on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.