Are you thinking of heading back to work soon or have you returned within the past year?

I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve teamed up with mind-set coach Donna Hubbard to launch local meet-up events for mums heading back into the world of work after time out to have children.

Join us for networking with like-minded mums and an exclusive workshop on cultivating career confidence after a break. Babies welcome!

The first events are taking place in Whiteley and Winchester and you can get your tickets here:

Whiteley

Winchester

These events are brand new and in Hampshire to begin with and will be published here and on social media, but we’ll be adding new locations all the time. Get in touch via email (ursula@mumbelievable.com) to suggest where we need to be heading next and to be added to our mailing list so you can be the first to know when we announce new dates. 

No matter what our profession or level in our careers, there’s so much more to returning to work than keep in touch days.

Becoming a parent is one of the biggest shifts in our identity we could ever experience. Our role in the world changes monumentally, and we have to learn and adapt quicker than ever before. Our children inspire us to strive to become better people, and they give us both our greatest reward and our greatest challenge.

As we navigate the unpredictable days of parenting it’s only natural that our sense of self and our confidence, both personal and professional may become lost in our quest to be the best parents we can be.

You’re not alone. Far from it. Which is why we want to bring like-minded women together so we can share our ideas and experiences, and support each other.

Resuming a career after becoming a parent can be an exciting and fulfilling time. It can also be overwhelming, daunting and can present a number of logistical and emotional challenges both at home and at work.

Managing a busy family life, meeting the needs of our children and everyone we love (and our own, of course!), running a home and pursuing our professional ambitions is far from easy, but can become infinitely more manageable and enjoyable when we take practical, confident steps towards prioritising and balancing these demands.

In these relaxed, interactive and unifying meet-ups we’ll share a number of empowering truth, mind-set tools and practical approaches to meeting the challenges of returning to work from a position of strength so you can become happier and more successful in every aspect of your life.

We’ll look at:

• The range of emotional and logistical challenges we experience as working parents, and compare our current reality with our ‘ideal’ vision of how we would like our lives to look.
• Our theory around why we as a generation may feel under-prepared for and overwhelmed by becoming a parent today.
• The inevitable disconnection from our former selves after a break and how to overcome the challenge of comparing ourselves to both the old ‘us’ and to others.
• How to leverage our skills, abilities and attributes as parents to enhance our careers and our personal lives.
• How to take positive control over the aspects of our lives we can influence, and how to let go of those we can’t.
• The value of learning to re-frame the parental guilt and feel confident and empowered in our choices both at home and at work.
• Positive, practical ways to prioritise what is important to us and our families and focus our time and effort in pursuing those things.
• Empowered ways to respond when things don’t go to plan, so you can become confident you can handle anything that comes your way.

The first events are in Whiteley and Winchester, Hampshire. Tickets are available here:

Click here to grab your ticket for Whiteley on 24th June at 10am-12pm

Click here to grab your ticket for Winchester on 29th July at 10am-12pm

Only 50 tickets available for each event and they’re selling fast! Can’t wait to see you there. X

 

I’ve just found out that this week is the Soil Association Organic Beauty and Wellbeing week. So I thought now is a good time to let you know about a little project I’ve been working on as part of my mission to help mums feel more confident.

When Xav was born early and then Tim got really ill, I started looking at ways to reduce the chemicals we had in the house as it felt like something that Icould do to help them when I otherwise felt pretty helpless. Their health was and is so, so important to me and I wanted to know I was doing everything in my power to help their bodies to be as well as they could be.

I read that the average woman puts upwards of 800 (!) chemicals on her body every single day. I was HORRIFIED.

How can our bodies function normally and be healthy when they’re battling this all the time?

So I changed all the cleaning and laundry products we use in the house to non-toxic, natural and organic brands, and then moved onto Xav’s bath stuff and creams, and Tim’s shower products, deodorant and so on.

I’m now finally getting around to changing the products I use myself (good old mum self-neglect…) and have found some amazing alternatives for skincare, haircare and beauty.

Since I’ve found so many brilliant natural and organic brands through this journey of trying to reduce my family’s exposure to toxins, I thought I would create a vlog series to share the products with you.

Making these simple switches has made me feel infinitely more confident about my choices for my family. I know I’m doing the right thing by both my boys and their bodies, and that in making these changes I’m contributing to our health and future together.

I’ll be sharing the series with you very soon! X

Pictured: A selection of beautiful products by the fabulous Little Soap Company

Last week I was invited to give the keynote speech at an NHS Return to Practice conference. It was thought-provoking and empowering to be in a room with brilliant professionals sharing a multitude of experiences of going back to work after a break to have children.

Sometimes, even when the logistics seem impossible and you have no idea how you’re going to balance everything, just knowing that you’re not alone can make it all seem just that little bit more achievable.

The opportunity to attend this kind of event and benefit from this kind of invaluable support, solidarity and insight at such a crucial time is one that I believe everyone should have access to. I and so many others did not, and it would have made so much difference. 

I love this series. I started the Mumbelievables interviews to tell the stories of amazing women doing incredible things with their lives to empower and inspire us all, and every single one delivers in spades.

It’s always fascinating to me to learn about the stories behind brands and businesses, and this one is pretty brilliant. It’s a total pleasure to introduce you to the lovely Rachel Daly who set up the fantastic Mama’s Meals, a meal delivery service for parents to help tired and busy mums eat well while looking after their newborns and young children. I honestly have no clue how she fits everything in to her life, but she’s doing a hell of a job. Enjoy!

I’m Rachel, first time mum to my gorgeous son Harry, wife to my amazing husband Tony, full time sales professional and founder of my ‘mummy’ business Mama’s Meals.

And that’s where all the positive adjectives end! Because the birth of my son and subsequent post-traumatic stress disorder, post-natal anxiety and depression were far from amazing.

My son was born a few weeks early and I experienced a high degree of trauma with his birth. At my six-week check-up I was diagnosed with PND and Anxiety; I couldn’t enjoy the experience of being a mum because intrusive thoughts and images filled my mind and I basically lived in fear. I also had the complexities of my son living with an un-diagnosed cow’s milk protein allergy which meant that he screamed in pain and vomited constantly.

In the midst of all of this an idea was ruminating in my head – the idea for Mama’s Meals.  It came to me very soon after Harry was born. As he was early I was still at work and hadn’t had chance to fill the freezer.  In hospital I was desperate to get home, but I soon missed the delivery of food to my bed three times a day. We got re-admitted to hospital due to Harry’s feeding issues and I ticked that menu card off with glee!

It struck me that the time when you need good nutrition the most is when you have the least amount of energy, time and inclination to make it happen.

The link between mood and food is well-established and the last thing new mums need is a load of sugary complex carbohydrates that cause a sugar rush and subsequent crash – making you feel tired and sluggish when you’re already sleep deprived and bloated. But quick sugar rushes are all you have!

So, I started working on my idea for a meal delivery system for parents of both newborns and older children focusing on healthy food that would provide nourishment for tired mums and dads. My amazing friend Trish designed my website and logo and my friend Faye helped with my social media and low and behold Mama’s Meals was born!

I launched the business last year and am so pleased with its success so far. I sometimes question the sanity of running a business, working full time and trying to parent a toddler, (ha!) but when I speak to the mums I deliver to and hear how much the food delivery helps them out I know it’s the right thing to do.

Inspired by companies like Innocent I also wanted to run an ethical business and so for every week’s worth of meals ordered I donate a meal to Basingstoke Food Bank. I call it ‘Meals for all’ and it’s an initiative that I’m so proud of.

Who are you? What makes you, you?

Gosh! Start with the easy question why don’t you?!!

I’m a woman who is struggling with balance in life – just like many women! I feel like I’m doing a poor job in all of my roles; mum, wife, employee and friend. I often feel guilty; guilty that I rarely miss Harry at all when I’m at work, guilty that I spend time away from him for work or pleasure when I already miss so much time with him in the day. I wonder why I’ve gone back to work to pay someone else a fortune to raise my son, (even though I suspect that they do a better job than I could!).

In terms of what makes me ‘me’ I suppose it’s the sum of all my experiences – sorry that’s a bit of a cop out!! J

If someone else was to sum you up in five words, what do you think those words would be?

Bolshy, (that one comes up a lot which proves that you never really know what’s going behind the scenes), honest, kind, enthusiastic and loyal.

Who are the three most important people in your life, and why?

Ok – this one’s easy. My husband and my son without a doubt – because they are my everything. From a practical point of view my mother-in-law is a very important person because she looks after Harry a lot lightening the load for me and helping me take a break. I’d like to add a disclaimer though that all my friends and family are important! J

What are the three most important things in your life and why?

My home – growing up we had a spell of homelessness due to domestic violence and were then in a refuge and sub-par social housing for many years. My home is my sanctuary, my security and a safe place to create happy family memories for my little boy.

My phone – I have a gazillion photos and videos of Harry on it which I look at constantly, I run my mummy business from my phone and it allows me to keep in touch with loved ones.

My car – freedom! To drop Harry off at nursery, deliver my Mama’s Meals and also do my day job.

What does confidence mean to you?

Being able to leave the house without make-up on, with greasy hair, in my mummy clothes (the ones covered in toddler snot, peaches, avocado, paint, crayons, bits of playdough – you get the idea) and realise that what I look like has zero impact on my performance as a mother and a human being.

It’s also about being comfortable with your choices.  To say that no, I didn’t breastfeed, without feeling the need to explain all of the reasons that I couldn’t. To say to the G.P. no – I don’t accept that my son’s chronic diarrhoea is caused by him using a steroid inhaler to treat asthma. Seriously, did you even go to medical school? And to push and push until they finally diagnosed a soy allergy as well as a cow’s milk allergy – he’s so en vogue.

How do you feel about yourself now compared to before you became a mum?

In the beginning I had a bit of an identity crisis; before motherhood I was a successful businesswoman. I travelled the country and overseas, made good money, spoke at conferences, wrote articles and generally bossed life. Then I had a baby and spent a year ‘off work’. I had no targets to hit, no feedback, no-one telling me what a great job I was doing. It hit me hard. I struggled with the lack of purpose, because in my mind taking care of a small person just wasn’t important enough!

A lot of this was wrapped up in society’s views on mothers; I used to scoff at people who had to leave work early to pick up their children, I viewed it as a weakness.

Now I’m proud to say that I’m a mum – it’s a bloody hard job. The toughest in the world and I have respect for anyone who has that title. Whether you breastfeed in a flowery meadow and only serve organic food or feed your child chicken nuggets and Fruit Shoots and shove them in front of the T.V. that’s your prerogative and no-one has the right to judge you.

Being a mum doesn’t define me though. I’m also a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, an employee and that’s ok. Somehow, (possibly due to the medication!) it all comes together!

What advice would you give to someone who doubts herself?

Go with your gut! Women are incredibly intuitive. We know our bodies and we know our children. Countless midwives told me that I wasn’t in labour when I was. Countless health professionals told me that Harry’s constant vomiting was ‘normal’ – it wasn’t. Trust yourself mama – you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t think you do.

What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?

To let it go and live in the moment!! I’m lucky in the sense that I’ve had access to so many therapies as part of my treatment for PTSD, PND, PNA and OCD. I’ve learnt mindfulness and coping strategies which I’ll use for the rest of my life. The bottom line is that irrespective of your circumstances and how uncomfortable you may feel; the present is the only moment that you can be truly effective. You can’t change the past and the future hasn’t happened yet. So be in the moment, stay in the moment – our children can teach us a lot about this. Just watch and see how quickly they get up after a fall or play happily with a toy that they got frustrated with yesterday. They don’t hold onto emotions or worry about the future.

And finally, where is your happy place?

If I’m having a bad day at work spending time with my son, (it can be anywhere doing anything) makes me laugh and I remember that work is a small part of what I do and he’s the reason that I do anything! If he’s the one giving me a bad day, (as toddler’s are inclined to do!) being on my sofa, cup of tea in hand with my husband next to me is a fairly good place to be!

You can find out more about Mama’s Meals on Facebook.

This week it’s an absolute pleasure to interview Ruth Kudzi, a business and confidence coach, speaker and blogger who specialises in working with mums who want to start up their own businesses tho give them a more flexible work/life balance. We share so much in common with our vision to empower and support mums, and I’m so happy to introduce you to her.

Ruth has 12 years’ experience working in education and had been coaching for 6 years when she set up her own business and confidence coaching business in 2016 whilst pregnant with her second child and working full-time (HERO). She’s had the most amazing year since then and didn’t return to her old career after maternity. She now works flexibly around her children and helps other mums all over the world who want work that works to do exactly the same. 

If you’re thinking about a career change or looking for business inspiration, look no further than Ruth’s rapidly-growing community of career change mums (links at the bottom of the interview). Enjoy! X

Who are you? What makes you, you?

I am Ruth Kudzi and I am a mum of two cheeky daughters. I have two businesses – my main one is a coaching business aimed solely at mums and the second is an educational consultancy and resource company which focuses on improving teenagers’ confidence.

If someone else was to sum you up in five words, what do you think those words would be?

Enthusiastic, compassionate, hard-working, fun, honest.

Who are the three most important people in your life, and why?

My other half, Christian – he supports me no matter what, he is kind, funny and is the best dad. My two daughters Jessica and Sophia, Jessica is like a mini Christian super intelligent, a deep thinker and sensitive but equally can be the life and soul of a party. Sophia is tiny but already is cheeky and sweet. It sounds soppy but they are my life.

What are the three most important things in your life and why?

My family, my health and my business. My family are what I wake up for and why I do everything that I do. My health is key as it means I can be around for my daughters. Finally my business(es) as they allow me to be creative and use my brain plus to live the lifestyle that I want.

What does confidence mean to you?

It means believing in myself and what I am doing.

How do you feel about yourself now compared to before you became a mum?

I now feel a lot more confident than I was before and a lot more sure of who I am as a person. This has been a process! When I first became a mum I felt really lost and I didn’t really feel like I had an identity anymore so this confidence has come from lots of work on myself.

What advice would you give to someone who doubts herself?

Start valuing yourself and invest time in yourself every single day – even something as simple as having a bath or speaking to a friend can make you feel good about yourself. Start doing things that you love and your confidence will grow.

What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?

Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself, you aren’t better than anyone else. I am a huge fan of supporting others and love working with people who feel the same.

And finally, where is your happy place?

We go to this beautiful place in Ibiza which is away from the tourist trail. I love it as it is a really simple existence – yoga, the beach, fresh food, lovely weather. Although it maybe isn’t quite as peaceful with my two girls there!

To join Ruth’s ever-growing community of Career Change Mums, check out her website www.ruthkudzicoaching.com, join her brilliant Facebook group here: www.facebook.com/groups/careerchangemums or follow her on Instagram www.instagram.com/ruthkudzicoach.