What a difference a year makes

This time last year, I decided to start a blog because I’d found it flippin’ difficult to get back into a regular routine of exercise after I’d had Xav. I figured if I started writing about how I was working on trying to put myself first a bit more, I’d become accountable and stand a cat in hell’s chance of saying yes to running and no to yum yums.

I quickly realised that the reasons why we as mums find it so hard to make time for ourselves is a much broader issue and that THAT was what I actually wanted to explore further through the blog.

My inability to prioritise exercise was merely a symptom of the change I’d gone through in becoming a mum, how my identity had shifted and of the fact that I felt consumed by The Mummy Guilt.

I knew my confidence had taken a battering (understatement) and that I lived in constant fear of being judged by other mums if I opened up and bared my soul about how not-cut-out-for-parenting I was.

So earlier this year, I made the decision to take it all in a different direction.

I’d become really fired up about the fact that so many of us feel so shit about ourselves after we have children when in fact, we should feel like we could conquer the world. We keep tiny humans alive. We’re superheroes in snot-covered jeans.

Exploring all of this, and writing about the issues we face as parents became my new purpose. And from that, came the strapline: Confidence, honesty, empowerment and solidarity for mums.

What I couldn’t have known is that sitting here now, just one little year later, I’d be in a completely different place.

Through this incredible community I’ve met some truly special people – a few of them are now stuck with me as their new mate. I’ve felt the camaraderie and support of other bloggers (some of whom – to me, anyway – are actual, real life celebs and I’m completely dumbstruck by their sheer awesome-ness) and new doors and opportunities are opening up all the time which means that this is slowly but surely *gasp* looking like it’s turning into a business. Girl’s gotta eat, right?

But Mumbelievable didn’t start as a business. It started as a mum-who-didn’t-really-realise-it-but-was-looking-for-a-way-back. Now, if I can create a living that enables me to work around my family while helping even one mama remember what a warrior she is, well – that’s become my life’s work now.

The reaction to the blog has floored me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a life-long love affair with writing, but I wish I was a better writer. I wish I was funny. I wish I could write like a million other writers who are far more eloquent, articulate and generally brilliant.

What I now know though, is that writing has gifted me back some pieces of myself that I didn’t really realise had floated away for a while. This is me; it’s honest and raw and I’m doing what I love. I’ve rediscovered my love of learning (read: can’t keep up with all the stuff you have to know to build a blog) and when I wake up every morning
I’m plotting how I can grab a few minutes throughout my day around Xav/Tim/work/house/family/friends/all the other plates we spin to tick a few things off my MAHOOSIVE Mumbelievable to-do list.

Don’t get me wrong – there’ve been some douche moments. I look back at my first posts and *cringes* THEY ARE AWFUL. But you know what? I don’t care. They’re part of Mumbelievable and this little movement I’m trying to get off the ground.

Ultimately, what I’m trying to say in a waffly way is that I’m happier for having started this little blog and Facebook page (thanks to millions of hours of help from my brilliant and also-oh-so-dishy husband). I feel like I’m becoming a better mummy because I’m starting to feel differently about myself. I’m discovering what I’m capable of, and realising more of what’s important. I’m so grateful to every single person who has ever read any of my ramblings.

(BTW: I know I’m corny and I’m ok with it.)

So if there’s something you’d kind of like to change, start doing or do more of, I’d say to you that you owe it to yourself to get on with it. It might take courage, sacrifice or discipline (or all of the above). But you can do it. You deserve it, and so do your unfulfilled dreams. When you find the courage to be true to who you are, exciting things start to happen. I’ve seen it.

And that’s pretty Mumbelievable in itself.