The sad results of my confidence survey

You might remember that a few weeks ago I posted a plea on the blog for help with a survey about how women feel about going back to work after having children.

Last week Donna (my fab partner in crime – we’re designing this series of confidence workshops together) and I met to go through the results and we knew it would be an emotional eye-opener, but we had no idea.

I’m sat here in tears going through the replies, and just wanted to share some of this with you. I’m so grateful to every single person who took time out of their crazy day to help with this project.

The questions we asked have confirmed everything we already knew about what a huge problem confidence is for women – particularly mums.

The scariest thing we learned is this: 82% of mums feel less confident now than they did before they had children. (I feel this calls for a sad face emoji.)

This statistic has broken me. We should all feel like we can accomplish anything. We’re mothers, for crying out loud! Instead, it seems almost universal that we feel worse about ourselves when it should be the opposite. This MUST change.

These results have given Donna and I more impetus than ever and more fire in our bellies to get these workshops out as far and wide as we possibly can to help as many women as we can reach.

The most important thing for each and every one of us to remember is that we are not alone, no matter how dark our feelings might be.

Here are a few quotes from what women told us. I’m heartbroken at the thought of so many gifted, capable and talented women feeling this way about themselves and my commitment to you is that I’m going to do everything I can to stop this madness.

• “I don’t see how I can be as good at my job as I used to be.”
• “I feel like I’ve lost my identity. I don’t know who I am and I put myself last.”
• “I’m worried about how I’m going to have the energy to deal with working on top of everything else. I’m so exhausted after a day now and I’m not back at work yet.”
• “People just expect that I’ll be fine. It’s so much pressure.”
• “How on earth am I going to juggle work and be there for my son?”
• “I feel really out of touch.”
• “I’m worried I won’t be respected and valued now I’ll be part-time.”
• “I’m going to miss my daughter so much.”
• “Will my child be ok without me? The thought of them suffering is too much to bear.”
• “I’m scared management will judge me and won’t think I’m capable.”
• “I feel that a promotion will be off the table for me because I’m part-time and my family is my priority.”
• “How are we going to afford all our living costs now we’ve got to pay for nursery?”
• “I need flexibility and understanding from my team now that my priorities have changed. What if they don’t get it?”
• “How will I cope being without my child? Will so much time apart damage our bond?”
• “Am I even employable now?”
• “I’ve got mummy brain. How am I going to do my job properly and not mess it up?”

How have we got to this point?

How it is possible that so many women are heading back into the world of work feeling this way?

Why aren’t they getting the support they need and deserve?

We’re working on the answers to these questions. We’re going to be putting out content via Mumbelievable and my social channels to help address these issues, and in addition to the workshops we’ll be launching national events and an online programme next year so we can reach as many women as possible who are sick and tired of feeling this way.

Our mission is to help 1 million (yes, you read that right!) mums to feel the way you deserve to feel, and we’d LOVE for you to come and join us!

Our next event is in Winchester, Hampshire on Saturday 26^th November 2016. Spaces are limited to 12 women, so you’ll need to act fast to secure your place.

(Plus there’s an early bird price so you won’t want to miss that..)

Click here to book your place!

In the meantime, if you’d like to find out more, click here or email me at Ursula@mumbelievable.com.

Thanks for reading. Xx